By Andrew Jude Rajanathan (London)
“Take a good hard look at yourself and find out what you truly enjoy in life, it may take some time, it may take you years, but I guarantee you it will be worth it in the end.” – Theo Paphitis, Dragon’s Den.
There you go free career advice. My question to all of you who read this post, especially graduates and finalists for this year and beyond. As you embark on the search for a career, start a new job or enter into a different profession make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.
I want to throw out an idea for all of you to reflect upon. Think back to a time when you spoke with passion and poured out your heart and soul into an area or subject of conversation, which made every single person around you sit up listen and take notice. Recall how you not only commanded attention but you probably spoke confidently, articulately, and with self-assurance in your voice.
If you were honest with yourself you’ll easily remember many examples of this. How magnetic and attractive did you feel at this point having spoken about something you were truly passionate about? Makes a big difference doesn’t it? So why don’t most people do this
Lets elaborate on passion
Passion = doing what you – yes YOU – not someone else (not your parents, teacher, sister, brother, partner, cousin, in laws, managers, subordinates) want to do. It is what you love!
Personally, I love the following: meeting people, writing, reading, media (all disciplines), offering advice/helping others. I enjoy doing these things and strive to improve my own understanding of these areas. Heck, I am writing this post whilst at work. Almost all areas that I’ve just mentioned have been a huge part of my life for the last 5 years.
Results of doing something you’re not passionate about
The difference is that, what you truly love will illuminate and project itself x1000 over something you are doing for the sake of something else. Let me give you an example (albeit a now, probably, well possibly, dated stereotype – forgive me please for using this, but I think it helps).
I grew up in a pretty hardcore Asian family with the typical value of education being rammed down my throat at every opportunity by parents, relatives, significant others and any one else who wanted to stick their oar in. The usual suspect (careers) were mentioned such as: medicine, engineering, something maths-based and more recently city-based careers in Investment Banking, Law and Management Consultancy. To deviate from any of these aforementioned careers was viewed as an almost heinous crime.
No idea if any of you listen to Jay Sean but in ‘Me Against Myself’ he sings, ‘Mummy, Daddy I want to be a Pop-Star,’ to which the response is, ’sit back down!’ Pretty much reflects Asian sentiments and I reckon there will be a fair few Asians nodding their heads at this.
If I had accepted ‘conventional’ career choices I wouldn’t have really been happy because they’d have been someone else’s choices and not my own. While they are all incredibly interesting careers I’d have been incredibly unhappy in one of those careers. Maybe I could do a reasonable job of it, but the lacuna of that world would be a lack of passion to take things to another level. Currently, I’m doing what I love and not what someone else is dictating to me, early on I realised this but never really expressed this out of fear. I hope that people understand the point I’m trying to make. Please consider all the financial rewards of a career but do NOT let this be the sole determinant when picking your vocation in life.
To quote a teacher who I really respect – ‘In the morning, when you wake up and set about your working day, it should be, something that is a natural extension of yourself.’
I fully understand the logic behind this and truly appreciate how important this is for young people to learn early on. I have met too many people unhappy on their degree courses, internships, graduate careers and even relationships, only to wake up when it is too late and find themselves somewhere the really do not want to be. These people aren’t living but merely existing. Is this any real way to live your life.
Benefits of passion (lead to attraction)
Think about a time when you spoke to someone or heard someone speak. You’ll notice a marked difference between someone who spoke energetically about [insert topic of conversation/presentation] as opposed to someone who was limp, weak and had a genuine lack of enthusiasm about [insert topic of conversation/presentation etc].
Passionate people come across as assured, confident, poised and truly interesting. They are the people who people flock to in the room; they give off a positive aura and attract things in a positive way rather than draw negative attention to them. Think about the last time you met someone you really liked. Think critically as to why you really liked them. It’s probably because they came across like a passionate person. Meeting passionate people is very uplifting!
People, passion and the world at present (will it change?)
The majority of people claim to be trendsetters and outside-of-the-box thinkers. However, for the most part, these people do not behave in this way and are likely to be trend followers and adopt a ‘go with the flow’ mentality and approach to life. It is these people who advertising agencies and multinationals make a killing off year in year out.
Q. Why?
A. Acceptance.
It is as simple as that. Rather than spend time trying to figure out what their heart’s desire is, they take up something others will be more accepting off. Screw that! You’re doing a lot more internal damage to yourself trying to please someone else. Therefore, aren’t you just lying to yourself and that other person? Essentially, you’re leading a false life.
Across society we interact with a lot of people who are far from doing what they are passionate about. This is especially true about jobs; think about how many people you’ll pass every day on your way to and from work, or to the shop to get a bottle of milk or on the way to university or college. The sad truth is that people box in these emotions and their real desires, only allowing it to creep out of the box when it is safe.
What is deep inside you?
By ignoring what you’re truly passionate about or what you love, you are robbing yourself of expressing to the world what you truly care about, and you’ll do yourself a lot more harm especially to your own well being.
Tap into what you really love and what you’d do every day for the rest of your life if money were not an issue. I’m not saying or arguing to ignore careerist dreams and passions. Just make sure it is what you really want to do. Passion is not something you can fake. Even someone with the smallest ounce of intuition will spot how false you come across if you try to fake something or create a false image. Be brutally honest with yourself.
We all lie to ourselves every day whether these lies are tiny or large – they are still lies. We could go to a movie that all our friends hate but we really enjoyed, but secretly keep schtum to please them. Or we could get hooked into a spiral of doing something with your friends you just do not enjoy, but just go along with this to please them. Guess what? You’re fooling them and probably, painfully having to do something you’re not very interested in. A lot of people go throughout life like this as I’ve stated above. What a sad state of affairs! The biggest problem is that they probably aren’t even aware of this and just accept the way things are.
Concluding thoughts
If you really want to learn something, then you should move towards nothing else except what your heart yearns for. Everything else is a distraction.
My personal take on this is that the people who are truly passionate about what they are doing make you feel much more different than someone who isn’t that bothered. These passionate people come across as more charismatic, magnetic, attractive and interesting. They automatically ooze something that makes you want to talk to them. And to top it off they’re probably genuinely happy about what they’re doing irrespective of the rewards.
As we get older, we take on more commitments and responsibilities, which ultimately stunt our appetite for what we truly desire, which is why you’ll often find people harking on about the negatives of a potential opportunity put in front of them.
Here are some examples:
1. A guy expresses an interest in a girl. The girl thinks ‘he’s too good for me.’
2. Someone constantly complains about his or her situation: they have no options or opportunities to change or remove that element of complaint.
3. I want to leave my job and start a business. It’s too hard, far too risky and everyone will hate me if it fails. (Believe me, I’ve heard this all too often, although in some cases, apart from the ‘I hate me’ part, could be true to a degree.)
4. I like this girl. If I tell her, she’ll laugh at me and won’t be interested.
Have we turned into a society full of ‘can’t do people’?
Everyday ask yourself if what you’re doing is what you truly want to be doing, and if the answer is no for far too many days, then you’re off course.
A little reflection is needed from time to time so do it. Find out what your passion is. It possibly may not have been revealed yet but that’s not to stop you leading the life you want to and taking control. You’ve got far more say over your circumstances all things being considered.
So stop, reflect, think and GO chase the dream.
